Since forever, I noticed that my parents, especially my mom, prefers my brother to me. He is 18. That means that all we can do here is figure out how you can change your interactions with them in order to try to affect a change in their behavior. Do yourself a huge favor and study and do well in school, not for your parents' sake, but for your own. When you're 25 you will be able to do those things if you really want to - you would be an adult. my parents don't understand anything in my liiifffffeee!!!!! Your parents may be more willing to listen than you think. (Marriage and Family Therapy - MFT) from the Western Institute for Social Research. For over ten years, Nasira worked as a psychotherapist with the general public and in addiction recovery.For the last few years, she has been a life coach specializing in So, please have mercy on us. Or, better yet, the two of you (or three of you if it both parents) could come up with a solution, with the Help of Allah, that is a compromise—and Allah Knows your struggles and Is Forgiving and Merciful – but Allah is also Helpful and can make things turn out differently from your fears- but you have to take the risk first to find that out, inShaAllah. I'm 13. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides. and is about to receive an MS degree in counseling psychology 1. Then there are universal principles of philosophy, and logic, and emotional intelligence–the things we want which we know are not good for us, or we desire to have when it would be better to wait, etc. Who do I contact? For example, they want you to wear hijab and you don’t want to. [1] X Research source Your parents may have grown up in a culture with different beliefs. Our programming often feels like our fitra but it is not (e.g., when we get angry, we usually follow the pattern of behavior modeled for us by our parents and/or society throughout their childhood, e.g., if your parents or culture yelled when angry, the children of those parents and culture usually yell too). So, all any of us can ever do when it comes to something that someone else does is control our own behavior and thinking and hope that it has an effect on them such that they change. What punishment parents choose is their problem and not yours. totally unmotivated I'm 13. Are you in the US? Regarding tatoos and piercings - you're too young to have any piercing except normal ear piercing. Just because they may not agree with you doesn't mean they don't understand you. But whenever my brother asks for something he gets it. I don't have 'weekends' or 'school days off' or 'vacations' because on those days, I have tutoring, hours of turoring with packets of homework piled on top of one another. Maybe in the IT industry, but like I said, I am really unsure. Do I have social anxiety/depression? I hate it! I don’t know if that is anything like what you are experiencing, but whatever you are experiencing, the principle is the same: both parties in the discussion have to be talking about the same thing and in the same context. First, I want to distinguish between their deductions and their thought process. I see that your mother has tried to get your father to leave the house, but he wont. Suicide is never the answer!! He is unbearable. Remember tatoos and piercings last forever, so think about the future if you ever decide to do it. Our “programming” or “imprinting” is what we got from our parents and culture as we were growing up. im confused. I'm an adult child living at home, but my parents hate me. Personally I dislike the look of any kind of piercing besides in the ear. Find out what they are thinking and where they are coming from and point out to them how the place that you are coming from is different and they need to address that – or vice versa. Depression After A Stroke: What Can You Do About It? If you can get them to see what you are dealing with and where you are coming from—and vice versa—then you should be able to have a productive conversation, inShaAllah. My dad is nice. Our subconscious mind is our fitra and our programming. Why is this distinction important? “My parents usually don’t want to listen,” says Joanne, 17. 2. interpersonal relations. This is not necessarily the case. Why can't my parents understand that? any thing my mom is mad about … He is a very pious person. Context means everything! He is 18. If they do not, then at least you have done your best—and then you have to figure out the answer to a different problem: how to survive their treatment that won’t change. And i also have to do things for dad like bringing his food..etc. They say, “Allah Says to wear it; don’t you want to go to Janna?” You say, “Yes, of course I want to go to Janna but I won’t have any friends if I wear hijab because everyone thinks Muslims are terrorists and I hate people thinking I am a terrorist”. I live in germany and the school system here is slightly different than in the US. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. This will pave way for open communication. Why Don't my parents understand me at all time My parents dont understand me My Parents Don't Understand My parents expect a perfect robot, and don't understand me at all. Think about the future. Am a bit scared of him. That means, you can give them your reasons for for your deductions so that they can come up with the same deductions. It is FREE! BuzzFeed India Contributor. i have no one that can do smething for me. What now? I empathise with you, but believe me, at some point every child feels his/her parents don't understand them. All brains work the same; they use conscious and subconscious “material (thoughts and feelings)” to induce and deduce “decisions”, some of which are conscious and some of which are subconscious. You are young and you will get frustrated and aggravated and a lot of people hate there older brothers or sister. You are 16 and are probably a sophomore/junior. To this, she replies that Islam is the manifestation of a correct understanding of our psychology. but his anger is unpredictable. My Parents Don’t Understand Me, What Should I Do. mu mym told me that she told my dad to go but my dad didn't! Our fitra/nature is our needs Created in us by Allah when He Created us. There is laser treatment for removal of tatoos but it costs alot of money and it leaves a mark. Now when i ask something my mum says its stupid and useless. Ver traducciones en inglés y español con pronunciaciones de audio, ejemplos y traducciones palabra por palabra. You write very eloquently for a 13 year old. Mind the generation gap. I see there is a lot of conflict going on in your household and this is having an effect on you. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. But my mum always wants more. Guest Now, it won’t work if you are not playing in the same ballpark (another euphemism which means, if your are playing football and they are playing baseball, you will never be able to understand each other, let along play together because you are playing by two different sets of rules on two playing fields that are laid out completely differently). How can you change your outlook, your approach, your ideas, etc., so that you get a different response – don’t panic, I am not going to take their part and criticize you and tell you to do their bidding. what should i do about my boyfriend's parents not liking me? Try to stay focused on school. We have to be patient in order to find out all that “stuff”. So, the way to reach your parents is to find out what playing field they are on and what game they are playing—of course, they are not playing any “game”; they are dead serious, but, you get my point. I make mistakes. You may feel that your parents are being unfair or uncaring if they do not understand you. My parents don't understand me. Before my dad used to give me all i asked. i always think that suicide is a solution. If this doesn't get under control, then talk to your school counsellor or principal. I will obviously hide it. Prove to yourself that you as smart as you obviously are. Maybe you were talking about beating the crap out of a child, but a slap on the butt has not killed anybody, even a nice beating with a belt hasn't killed anybody. The best thing you could do is do well in school and enjoy what's left of your kid life. Then there is our conscious mind, which is the logic we can track, i.e., the thinking process I described above in my role-playing scenario. I know it must be hard for you to understand but believe me dear, I have been through that phase and I felt no different (though not exactly same since we lived in different era). Nothing new or surprising for a teenage. Homeschooling And 'What About Socialization? I get angry very quickly too. Traduce my parents don't understand me. Why are my parents going to extrems about the littlest things? I am sorry that your parents “can’t understand” you and “ always criticize your actions”! I didn't tell anyone. My parents expect a perfect robot, and don't understand me at all. Wondering If Your Child Is Ready To Go Out Or Stay Home Alone? Overprotective Parents vs Boyfriend vs Me, Comments and reviews on article "Overprotective parents", Almost 13 and parents make me wear diapers. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. I want to complete "highschool" and afterwards go to "college". Learn more.