(I met lots of new people this way)2. "I told you NO! The day of the meeting arrives. The second says, "I'm so thirsty I could drink a keg." Lights out." Please enter your username or email address. The first man says, "I'm so thirsty, I could drink a pint." Last month’s joke and winning entry appear on the next page. Each of you can go down this magic slide," and a slide appeared from nowhere, "and whatever you say in the slide you will land in a large pile of whatever you said. [Five minutes later] "Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..." "WHAT??!!" See if they apologize. The man, realizing that sleep will be impossible if this woman’s thirst isn’t slaked, climbs out of his sleeper, puts on his bathrobe, and walks to the end of the car, where there is a water cooler and paper cups, one of which he fills. Start your risk free trial with unlimited access. You had your chance. "I'm thirsty. DON'T HELP ME THEN!")4. You just know the widow is going to find someone more worldly with whom to make the kind of utilitarian marriage in which she belongs; and for Yankel, the very naïveté that had been holding him back has in this instance become the instrument of his salvation. Either scenario would have transmogrified this sweet joke into a cruel one at the expense of a vulnerable party (there is no party more vulnerable in Jokeworld than an unattractive single woman). "Upon hearing this is, the man in the dark corner says "Moo moo, big boy.". "No. A few minutes later 3 other men follow. ", A man goes into a bar and sits at a booth in a dark corner. TimRay: I've heard this story decades ago. “Miriam,” Yankel asks, “if you had a brother, do you think he would like noodles?”, The Winning Explication of Last Month’s Joke…. A few minutes later 3 other men follow. Nika: ★There are even more relaxed dirty girls...You just let know about you.. ...Join(copy the link)➤ abre.ai/bfmc. (People normally look at me very confused with this one.)3. If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!" Following the sound of the voice—“Oy, am I thirsty! We should all be so lucky. When a person is thirsty they are basically attention whores. Morons, Hillary Clinton thirsty in the middle of the night. Oy, am I thirsty!”. Finally, the clackety-clack of the tracks begins to put him to sleep when from the other end of the sleeper car he hears a female voice: “Oy, am I thirsty! Lost your password? “Miriam,” he asks in a quavering voice, “do you like noodles?”, “No,” she replies, “I don’t like noodles.”, Oy, thinks Yankel. The third man says, "I'm so thirsty, I could milk a cow." Run around and jump on things and make noises pretending to be a more... One day, 3 men were walking around in the desert. Explore the scintillating October 2020 issue of Commentary. "Hillary: "I'm thirsty and I would like a glass of water. Bring up these subjects and all will go smoothly.”. In the village of Frampol, Yankel Garlinsky, a bachelor of 40, terrified of women, is apprised of the visit of one Miriam Schneider, a recent widow in search of a new husband. Your challenge is to offer up a pseudo-Talmudic explication of the joke’s meaning in fewer than 250 words. As written, however, the joke dishes up happy endings all around. Once again the rhythmic clacking of the tracks works its hypnotic spell and he is about to  fall asleep when he hears the same voice call out: “Oy, was I thirsty! Food…family…and, oh yes, philosophy. “Excuse me, Madame,” the man says, “I couldn’t help overhear that you were thirsty, and I thought perhaps this cup of water might help.”. He comes to his mother to remind her of his extreme nervousness. A man goes into a bar and sits at a booth in a dark corner. How are you? Now here’s this month’s new joke; to get in on the contest, e-mail us before April 8 at [email protected], A tall man,6’3”,  somewhat overweight, is attempting to get comfortable in the small space of an upper-birth Pullman Sleeper on a train between Chicago and New York. Ask someone what another person's name is nearby. When their embarrassing behavior is noticed by others, that’s then the jokes come in. Go up to that person and say "Hey, *person's name*. I just want you to keep my place empty until I'm back. 15 Fun Things to do in Public Areas(I actually did all of these)1. Oy, am I thirsty!”—he walks to the other end of the car and knocks gently. (If they don't help, I yell out, "FINE! Yankel feels utterly lost when he remembers his mother’s advice: food, family, philosophy—these are subjects all women like to talk about. Hardik: Very Nice Stories Yankel is left in a room with Miriam Schneider, who turns out to be roughly four-foot-six and to weigh some 230 pounds. (This is hard to do, because they normally try to avoid me when I try to bump them.)5. Yankel is obviously a candidate, and a meeting between the two has been arranged. …comes from Anne Folan of Washington, D.C.: In the immortal words of Winston Churchill: “Life offers few experiences more exhilarating than that of being shot at without result.” The laughter that the Yankel joke provides is the purest kind: the laughter of joyous relief at an innocent’s near-miss. The Thirsty Joke by Joseph Epstein The Jewish joke is a particular form of cultural currency—at once an explanation of, an apology for, an act of aggression against, and a defense of being Jewish, of Jewish ideas, and of Jewish traditions. A small boy is sent to bed by his father...[Five minutes later] "Da-ad..." "What?" There are two main ways this joke could have gone wrong: if the ugly widow had been at all sympathetic or if Yankel had been deliberately trying to escape. [Five minutes later] "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" Walk behind someone until he/she turns around. It's a good story, but is it a joke? "Hillary: "Of course not. The third man says, "I'm so thirsty, I could milk a cow. He turns on his right side, then on his left, then on his stomach, then on his back. Oy, am I thirsty!” Over and over, at regular but all-too-short intervals, the voice calls out, “Oy, am I  thirsty! “Miriam,” he now asks, “do you have a brother?”. Joseph Epstein is the author, most recently, of. See what kind of conversation you can start. But why are these jokes so memorable, so funny? The man climbs back into his own sleeper. (You should look very confused, so it makes them be confused also.)6. He plumps his pillow. They sit down at the bar. They include Thirsty puns for adults , dirty dehydration jokes or … The second says, "I'm so thirsty I could drink a keg." Once again he plumps his pillow. Thirsty Jokes Following is our collection of empty humor and water one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. ", Hillary wakes bill in the middle of the night.Bill: "What's the matter? The reader whose answer is deemed the most penetrating (and doesn’t drain the joke of its humor) will receive a signed copy of Epstein’s newest collection, The Love Song of A. Jerome Minkoff and Other Stories. You will receive a link to create a new password via email. "The first man went down and said, "GOLD," and he landed in gold; the second man said, "COCA-COLA," and he landed in coca-cola; the last man said, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and he landed in wee. Once again he  struggles to find a comfortable position, turning and twisting every which way. Subscribe, The Jewish joke is a particular form of cultural currency—at once an explanation of, an apology for, an act of aggression against, and a defense of being Jewish, of Jewish ideas, and of Jewish traditions. Oy, was I thirsty!”. Always remember that women, all women, are interested in three things: food, family, and philosophy. An older woman pulls back the drape that encloses her sleeper. Can you bring me a drink of water?" “Yankele, darling boy,” his mother says, “there’s nothing to worry about. "Bill: "Do you seriously think I'm going to get it for you?? Every month Epstein will supply you with a fresh joke, like “The Thirsty Joke” just below. The thirsty man again begs for water and the salesman says, " I only have ties, but over that sand dune 30 miles is a town ... read more A man woke up lost in the desert. They will do any and everything to get noticed or get sex. Thank You So much Sharing this post, JT: Sure if you think pedophilia is funny. The first man says, "I'm so thirsty, I could drink a pint." Bump into someone and pretend it causes you to fall down. Fall down in front of strangers, and see if they try to help. Worse and worse. "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water? Her face is without warmth or expression of any kind. Thank you so much.” She takes the cup, and closes the drape. “You, sir,” the woman says, “are a real gentleman. They sit down at the bar. Then say, "What?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" The monthly magazine of opinion. Welcome to the second edition of COMMENTARY’s new contest, Enter Laughing, presented to you by our longtime contributor Joseph Epstein. You forgot my name, again, didn't you!?" One was poor, but had lots to drink and was smart; one was rich and very thirsty but was smart, and the last was poor, thirsty and stupid.Suddenly a genie popped up and said, "Each of you can have one wish, but it is a different sort of wish to the usual. Go up to random people and ask "How are you doing?"