We are also taught that masculinity is emotionless, that it’s weak to cry and to communicate, or even be educated. Sampson is an actor (Insecure, How to Get Away With Murder) and activist who has used his platform to take on social justice issues from light-skinned privilege to asylum seekers at the U.S.–Mexico border to the rights of domestic workers. Being seen as a “pretty boy” was always an underhanded compliment that came with implications of weakness. Subscribe to Deadline Breaking News Alerts and keep your inbox happy. He’s also a proud feminist, and one of the rare cis men willing to talk openly about masculinity, and black masculinity in particular. KS: For too long, too many men — especially straight, cis, white men — have awkwardly, dangerously, and disastrously forced their square selves into round holes that would be much better filled with other qualified humans who identify differently and are forced to work at intersections that make them uniquely qualified for leadership roles. 907.5k Followers, 98 Following, 2,365 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Kendrick Sampson (@kendrick38) My natural inclination was to go toward the misfit, so I really clung to those who showed compassion and a stronger, more vulnerable aspect of masculinity, but overall there weren’t many examples. We are taught to close up and guard ourselves and harden as men. The strongest people that I know are leaders who accept and celebrate people. Thomas Page McBee: When did you first realize that you had a gender? All Rights reserved. TPM: What’s a quality you value in yourself that you were taught was ‘feminine’ as a child? That almost always looks like some form of harassment. KS: Conforming to make other people feel comfortable instead of sticking to the things I knew in my heart were valuable. TPM: What’s something you did as a boy to “prove” your manhood that you now regret? The first rule of being a man, like in the movie, Fight Club, is to not talk about being a man. Send us a tip using our annonymous form. Even with the privileges I had growing up — like a white mother who used her privilege to advocate for me when racist things happened, or my current financial and career success and a relatively privileged economic upbringing — I was far from exempt from these oppressive forces. Copyright © 2020 Penske Business Media, LLC. Dr. Melina Abdullah – Professor, California State University, Los Angeles Marya Bangee – Executive Director, Harness Kelly Lytle Hernandez – Director, Ralph J. Bunche Center for African American Studies at UCLATarsha Jackson – Co-Founder, Texas Families of Incarcerated Youth, BLD PWR is a fiscally sponsored project of Community Partners, a 501 (c)(3) charitable organization, Senior Communications Strategist, Action Center on Race and the Economy (ACRE), Chief Strategy Officer, USC Race and Equity Center. With $4M+. We are taught to hate the more stereotypically Black magnificent parts of us in certain scenarios and to try to be proudly stereotypical as possible in others, for better or for worse. I was taught not to like dark skin girls and was made fun of for liking and dating them. He has also appeared in series such as White Famous, Greek, The Flash and most recently Insecure. KS: The strength inherent in vulnerability. Now I realize how much more admirable and productive it is to realize your role in community, and how much stronger we are when we work together — how someone who may seem weak in an area that I am strong is most likely strong in an area that I am weak. For far too many men of color, jail and early death seem way more likely than achieving the supposed “American Dream.” Can’t pull yourself up by the bootstraps when centuries-old systems are designed to keep you from the damn boot. A post shared by Kendrick Sampson (@kendrick38) on Mar 17, 2020 at 5:54pm PDT Now, at 32, Sampson manages his anxiety by going to therapy every week and … EXCLUSIVE: Kendrick Sampson (How To Get Away with Murder) and Carra Patterson (Straight Outta Compton) are set as the leads in Showtime’s How to Make Love to a Black Woman (Who May Be Working Through Some Sh*t) pilot, a comedy anthology from The Chi creator/executive producer Lena Waithe and the series’ writer Cathy Kisakye. Our society is built to treat us like prisoners and criminals from birth wherever we go. Patterson is repped by Innovative Artists & Robyn Bluestone Management. — Kendrick Sampson (@kendrick38) June 13, 2017 Sampson discussed how he'd fit in with certain white circles, only to find out he was often a subject of mockery from those same associates. TPM: What have you had to unlearn about masculinity as you’ve gotten older? Kendrick Sampson: I remember putting on my dad’s big shoes and boots as a toddler and everyone thought it was cute, but when I tried on my mom’s shoes, my dad yelled at me. In fact, earlier this year, the American Psychological Association issued guidelines for working with men and boys that defined “traditional masculinity” (“marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression”) as “on the whole, harmful.” They also point out that there are many masculinities, and that men of color in the United States face some of the same socialization as white men, but under a complicated cloud of racism that white men do not. Sampson’s experience of gender is like that of many men. That’s how I found out it was “wrong,” almost like touching an iron. It teaches us to hate ourselves and each other. I needed therapy to sort this out, but that’s looked down upon in an intense way, generally, in Black circles. Created by Kisakye, How To Make Love to a Black Woman will be a collection of multi-part episodes which will include new characters in an authentic world, telling stories about connection and rejection that explore our most harrowing – and harrowingly comic – sexual secrets. Actor Kendrick Sampson said he was shot seven times with rubber bullets by police in Los Angeles on Saturday during a protest over the death of George Floyd. Police, media, schools, and history has forced us to consider prison or death constantly, and it is super apparent in our culture. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Colorism is a thing. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (updated 1/1/20) and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement (updated 1/1/20) and Your California Privacy Rights. If we team up, we complement one another, and we can accomplish so much more. I’ve spent the years since my transition asking myself and other men and boys all over the world what might be possible if we reimagined masculinity instead of defending it. Ad Choices, Kendrick Sampson on Masculinity, Race, and Why Men Should Be More Vulnerable, "I now know that it’s so much stronger to open up. I was always taught by example and word that the strongest men get things done without help. Teen Vogue covers the latest in celebrity news, politics, fashion, beauty, wellness, lifestyle, and entertainment. Men are incredibly dangerous — to ourselves and others. KS: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. My education and “acceptable” demeanor gave me access into white circles, only to be ridiculed, insulted and/or given the “privilege” of hearing what insulting, bigoted things many white people really say behind our backs, not realizing they are insulting me, my family, and my loved ones. And since we can’t trust those who are supposed to protect us, since they are statistically proven to be the biggest perpetuators of this oppression, to whom do we turn? TPM: What’s one thing you wish you’d been told as a teenager that you had to learn as an adult? And the harmful parts are pretty stunning. Harnessing the power of narrative activism, sharing stories can be an effective means to help shape, enhance and amplify important ideas in grassroots organizing. Men in my family had a way of teaching me about masculinity that was more about making fun of or degrading things that were stereotypically female — still do. 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I was told I look better because I have lighter skin, but then lighter skin is seen as weaker and less threatening in our culture, so I ran into a lot of problems with that. Men are more likely to be mass shooters, murderers, murder victims, and to die by suicide. I was still pulled out of my mom’s car at gun point, accused of stealing it because she’s white. We’re taught this even in church, to pursue the woman — but we are mostly not taught what a healthy pursuit looks like. Patterson, who played Tomica Woods in Straight Outta Compton, was a series regular in The Arrangement.